Well, as you may know, I made it from the bottom of
Death Valley to the Mt. Whitney Portal and completed the entire 135 miles of
the Badwater Ultramarathon.
Many people have asked me a lot of questions about this
journey. Frankly, I have had more than a few questions about it myself, so I
recently sat myself down for a revealing one-on-one interview with, well, myself.
Believe you me, I myself was quite enlightened.
Why
did you do it?
“Because it was there” seems like a trite answer,
but it covers a lot of ground. I am a runner, so an epic run on my 50th
birthday had instant appeal to me. Plus, I love the heat and the desert, so
running Badwater fit the bill. But it is so much more than that. I knew it
would test me to the root of my being like almost nothing else. And did it ever.
Didn’t
You Run For Charity?
Why yes, two of them in fact. The Mid-Ohio Marine
Foundation and Always Brothers. People can still donate by paypal (www.momf.org
or www.alwaysbrothers.org)
or send me a check made out to either group.
What
was the Badwater Ultramarathon like?
Wonderful. Terrible. Race weekend was a blur, with a
flurry of supply-buying, van-packing, picture-taking and for me,
birthday-celebrating activities. In fact, I remember thinking at one point that
I was hardly even nervous. Well that jinxed me – at the start line I became
very nervous, and had to talk myself down from dropping out. I just felt so
unworthy, unprepared, so-less-than-worthy compared to the rest of the
competitors there with me.
Believe it or not ... more supplies were already IN the vans.
This isn’t uncommon in running, and usually such
feelings pass as soon as the race starts, but I still felt nervous at the first
checkpoint 17 miles in! Looking back, I am okay with that. It was such a
difficult race under intensely challenging conditions. Fear proved to be a
great motivator – it kept me conservative and slowed me down, which allowed me
to keep going later.
What
was most difficult?
Well of course the high temperature, dry wind and
blazing sunshine rank high on the suck-o-meter, but not for the reasons you may
think. Fact is, you can’t go very far in Death Valley without taking in loads
of fluids and cooling yourself, in this race or in general, or you flat-out won’t
survive. But these life-saving steps require a lot of time - good if you want
to stay alive, bad if you are trying to
reach a finish line as quickly as possible! You have no choice but to be calm,
relaxed and patient (not easy for me, as those who know me can tell you!) and
do what you need to do, again and again and again.
1
– get to van
2
– tell crew what you need
3
– give them fluid bottles to be refilled
4
– apply sunscreen or Vaseline, or go behind the van to pee, or grab a snack, or
take some pain reliever, or get squirted with water (sometimes all of these
things happened at a single stop!)
5
– start running or walking again, repeating this about 200 times or more
Usually in an ultramarathon you look forward to the
aid stations which are typically 4 or 5 miles apart, or in the case of
Badwater, the checkpoints at miles 17, 41, 73, 90, 122 and 131. Truthfully, though,
these stops were rather insignificant, only requiring me to call out my number
before moving on.
The first 41 miles, I stopped about every 1.5 miles
for fluids and food. At some points later on, the intervals became more
frequent. In between I carried a bottle that at different times held water,
sports drink, iced tea, Coke and Hawaiian Punch, plus I often carried a second
one with ice water to squirt on myself.
I ate more than 40 energy gels, plus forced in pretzels,
potato chips, several slices of bread, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, many,
many saltines with peanut butter, a handful of gummy bears, several Little
Debbies, cookies, and slushy drinks (we even had a blender!). I tried a couple 350-calorie
Ensure drinks, but they didn’t do it for me, and also ate a single, tavern
tater tot that it definitely didn’t do it for me, although it was sweet of my wife
Star to offer me her tots!
None of this food or drink intake was the result of
anything I did to care for myself, though. You give up all self-reliance in
this race. Sure, I could probably carry enough fluid and food to go 10, maybe
15 miles out there. Then what?
My crew members are the true heroes. They fed me, watered me, cuddled me, sliced my
blisters, wiped my mouth, so, so much more, and never once complained. Even
though at times I was a shuffling, scared, whining, smelly mess.
Make no mistake, Badwater is a team sport. I got by with a little help from my friends.
Scared?
Yes, especially once when I couldn’t feel my foot
when I took a step. I thought I was having a stroke or something, but the
feeling passed and never returned. I also was afraid when I got dizzy a couple
of times. Then there was the time when I was almost done, and I told Star I was
scared. “What are you afraid of?” she asked. “Passing out,” I replied. “Do you
feel like you are going to pass out?” she asked with the rest of the crew anxiously
looking on. “No,” I sheepishly answered. Apparently they found this quite amusing,
gauging from the laughter and continuous reference to it the rest of the way.
I was also pretty scared when I came upon a
rattlesnake, coiled and ready to strike. Thankfully Darrin Bright from my crew
saw it first, and his extremely high-pitched scream stopped me in my tracks. His
scream (did I mention it was extremely high-pitched?) even turned the “snake”
into a piece of wood that is now sitting on my TV stand at home.
Oh yes. I even apologized to Darrin at one point for
being so negative, and once told Star I was a loser and wanted to quit. She
stood up to me, and said I could feel bad if I was sick or injured, but not
just because it was hard. “Of course it is hard! You knew it would be hard! You
didn’t think it would be hard?” Yes dear. Thank you for reminding me to suck it
up.
Smelly?
Apparently. So much so, that the crew joked about
the mold growing on me because I never changed my shirt or shorts. Yes, it was
gross. But it was working – no chafing, no binding, so why change? Despite the
stink, Star still cuddled me during a “romantic little nap under the stars” when
I needed to lie down (we actually were laying on a blanket covering gravel on
the side of the road, cars and other runners passing by, asking if I was okay,
but she made it the sweetest place that I never wanted to leave). That shirt
smelled so bad that the crew could smell it the morning after the run, and
wouldn’t come into our hotel room! They said the shirt should be framed, but I
have a secret – I threw it away in room 103 of the Best Western in Lone Pine,
California!
You
lied down?
Yes, five times. I would arrive at a stop, and was
just so tired that I couldn’t continue. It wasn’t my legs, but I just felt so
weary! Caffeine had no effect. It mostly happened the first night, which is
always a tough time for me in these things. “I just need 10 hours of sleep,” I
said one time, which also made it to the crew laugh track of the journey. I
would try to sleep, but after 10, 15 minutes would get back on my feet and
start moving again.
Of all the things I accomplished during the race, I
am most proud of these five moments. I wanted to quit, could have quit, and in
other races have quit at such points in time. But I didn’t. I got up and kept
going – five times! I did what I never thought I was strong enough to do, something
that I knew others did and thought they were so much stronger than me for it.
After one of the five times I got back up, I thought
about what Brian O’Neill wrote for an inspirational notebook Star put together
for me. Brian is a member of Always Brothers, and we first met him in May 2012
during the 100-mile run from Cincinnati to Columbus to honor the members of
Lima Company who were killed back in 2005.
At the start of that run Brian read a poem by Edmund
Vance Cooke and included this passage from it in his note to me:
“You are beaten to earth? Well, well, what’s that?
Come up with a smiling face.
It’s nothing against you to fall down flat.
But to lie there – that’s disgrace.”
What
else did you think about?
HTFU. I first learned this acronym on the Lima 100
run from the Marines who took part, and was reminded of it by another one of
them, Trevor Thomas Stewart. His note to me read in part:
“Hey D, you might be suffering right now. I hope you
are J
But I hope you’re listening to Star and enjoying your journey right now. Trust
your training. You are a BAD MAN and you have done the work to succeed! Today
is your prize. Enjoy it. Know that your brothers are thinking of you and being
inspired by you. You are suffering for those who can’t! Think about that and
HARDEN THE F@#& UP! (he is a Marine, so didn’t write F@#&, though) …
Other gems from the book that got me through:
From one of my U.K. mates, David Hegarty:
“If you are feeling good, don’t worry, this feeling
will soon pass …”
He also wrote a story about the time when he was on
a trail run with a friend who stopped for a bathroom break and cried out that
he was peeing blood. “No it’s OK,” the friend then said. “I just remembered, I
had 2 glasses of beetroot juice this morning.”
“Moral of the story, things aren’t always as bad as
they seem.”
Some friends, including Lauren Fithian, wrote poems.
Others directed love, prayers, Bible verses, funny stories and positive energy
my way (Ricardo Balazs, just can’t sem to find a way to make your story
relevant, but it is pretty funny!) Still more sent jokes to get my mind off of
things – George Keeney, you may still giggle over yours, but it still troubles
me.
Debbra Jacobs-Robinson and her husband Dave even
reworked “The Charge Of The Light Brigade” to recognize the trek and my
milestone birthday. In part:
“Fatigue to the right of him
Fatigue to the left of him
Hard miles behind him“Could I have been dumber?”
Wanting to sleep, or cry, or crawl
Wanting to quit, but wanting it all
Wobbling some, taking victories small
Out of the Valley of Death
Up where trees are tall
Ran the New Fifty.”
And Dean Allen Smith, THE brother behind Always
Brothers, reminded me of the kids he ran by and hugged during the 2012
Nationwide Children’s Hospital Columbus Marathon & ½ Marathon. “I want you
to think of those little heroes while you continue on your journey. Give it
everything you have, just as they have.”
I also thought back to seeing Dean, limping along
the last mile of that ½ Marathon, knee destroyed, giving it all HE had.
Then there was my brother Damon, my running hero
(who owes it all to me for all the times I mercilessly chased him when we were
kids). He recounted a story from a marathon he won, during which, well, I will
let him tell it:
“Pat, pat, pat, your footfalls on the path, you hear
something, you look over to your left, up the hill on the road. There is
someone stopped on a motorcycle waving, cheering. Who would be out here? Nobody
even knows it’s a race. You feel a chill and pick that mile up a few seconds,
anyway you can get to the end, one mile at a time, tick them off.” - Sibling
support, 2000 Towpath Marathon
Yes, every word all of you wrote helped. Thank You!
(in order of receipt)
Star BlackfordCatherine, Brent and Berkley LaCount
Jay Lanhart and P.J. Soteriades
Sara Abele and Ryan Hughes
Mark Carroll
Reggie “Manimal” O’Hara
Bob Cat Blackford
David Hegarty
Tom Bond & George Keeney
Tom Tisell (a big fan of mine)
Lauren Fithian
Rick Giles
Sara Laudeman
The LaCounts (again!)
Dean Allen Smith
Lindsey Gulliver
Sarah Irvin
Phil Yensel
Ron & Kathy Ross
Eli Ayers (I put the “hammer down,” sir …)
Richard Hulnick
Damon Blackford
Scott Stocker
Sunday Dog Blackford
Debra Jacobs-Robinson
Deb & Dave JR Together (seriously, the WHOLE “Charge Of The Light Brigade”!)
Trevor Thomas Stewart
Kim Austin
Kevin & Elaine Guilfoyle
Ian Berry & Sandra Bowers
Catherine, Brent & Berkley LaCount (#3!)
Kevin Ford
Mike Renavitz
Charissa Fee
Leigh Zeidner
David Garrity
Bill Sanders
Bill Burns
John Martin
Berkley LaCount (Photo running the “Rocky” steps in Philadelphia. In the heat. In flip-flops!)
Dan Leite
Rose Smith
Ricardo Balazs
Jack King
Kayla Allen
Frances Krumholtz
Cindy & Greg Wilmer
Courage Cat Paavo Nurmi Sloopy Candoff Blackford
Paul, Alison & Will Kelvington
Brian O’Neill
Doug & Jill Hile
Preston Osborne
Allen Blaine
Molly Bright - drew an awesome picture of her “Funcle” (friend/uncle) Darris …
And thanks to all who sent phone, e-mail and
Facebook messages of encouragement and birthday well wishes, including my
wonderful parents.
So
the question on all of our minds – will you do it again?
Never.
There is simply no reason for me to face this race
again. As I was passing by the Death Valley sand dunes at about mile 40 and
afternoon was starting to fade into evening, I looked up at the sun, which had
pounded me all day, and I yelled: “I beat you today!” Two steps later, I
revised my statement: “I withstood you today!”
I feel the same about the Badwater 135 Ultramarathon.
I didn’t beat “The Challenge Of The Champions.” But I withstood everything it
threw at me. The heat (topped out at 127 degrees). The miles (the most I have ever done at one time). The
hills (only three of them – 18 miles, 17 miles, 13 miles J).
The wind (one period of constant headwind lasted for nearly 10 hours). The
sleep deprivation (I was awake more than 46 hours).
And withstanding all of this was more than enough,
the most I could ever hope to do, with the people I did it with, who helped me
see it through to the end.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to my crew:
Star – Team JD did it again …
George & Robin Roulett – You always knew what I needed
(except the pizza! J)Darrin Bright – My “brother from a different mother,” great job pointing out that “snake”!
Lexi Bright – Are you sure you aren’t a veteran of this thing? Nailed it!
Steve Zeidner – The miles flew by running with you!
And you, oh less-than-iron stomach, along with Darrin, got me to eat, and eat,
and eat.
And
finally, what advice would you give to someone considering Badwater?
Tell as many people as possible that you are doing
it. Make phone calls, send texts, post on Facebook, write a blog, heck, even get
the local newspaper to do a story about your training and run a photo of you
wearing a breathing-restriction mask in a 200-degree sauna. Then when it is the
middle of the night, and you are puking and bitching and moaning and wanting to
quit, you will suddenly remember all the people back home who are following you
on-line and how much it will suck to face these people after you failed.
And then, you will get up and start moving again.